(That’s a lie. It’s one of my favorite things to do.)

I’m on campus, and I can’t help but overhear a young lady tell her friend, after watching another young lady walk by, that she longs to live in a time in history when girls didn’t dress like prostitutes in animal print and swear in every sentence.

This never fails to piss me off.

I understand where she’s coming from - she wishes young ladies had more self respect, and granted, that’s a problem worth fixing. But I’m so very sick of people talking about “better” and “simpler” times, and also assuming that self-expression stems from a lack of self respect, when it is very likely the opposite.

Every piece of history has its darkness. Racism, women’s oppression, horrible fucking things that cause revolutions that lead to incredible change. I constantly hear people talking about these “beautiful” times in history, and I want to ask them what is so great about them. I also want to ask that they recognize that wishing to live in a time of extended hem lines, proper behavior, and “wholesome”, “well-behaved” women also means wishing to live in a time when those same women could not vote, could not hold positions of power, and in fact did very little of their own free will.

Strong women, gay people, pregnant teens, sensitive men, these people have existed prominently throughout all of history. The difference is, we’re finally in a time where we are allowing people to talk openly about things like sex and sexuality. Where people are free to be, and not persecuted for being, just as they are. Where we do not ship unwed pregnant women away so that the local community does not criticize them. Our differences are celebrated. We understand how ignorant we were in the past, and we’re building a bright new future.

We live in a beautiful time. Yes, we have our own battles with oppression and greed and bullshit to deal with, but stop acting like this is all new. Relatively, things are pretty fucking fantastic. I’m thankful for my right, as a young woman, to say what’s on my mind, to do as I please, and dress like a “dirty fucking skank” if that is what I want. If you want to hand away all of your rights or the rights of others so that you don’t have to acknowledge that not everyone is exactly the same - then get off your pedestal and call your fear and ignorance what it is.

He hates her because she’s got confidence that he calls cockiness. He hates her because she speaks up, because she says what she thinks instead of what she thinks he wants to hear. He hates her because she isn’t afraid to admit when she doesn’t understand, and he just plays along. He hates her because she answers his questions honestly, even when a lie would have been more convenient. He hates her for not being modest. He hates her for not being embarrassed. He hates her because she takes charge when no one else will. He hates her because she spoke to him while he was still trying to find the right time to say hello. He hates her because she refuses to pretend she’s stupid. He hates her, because she acts just as smart as she is, and he thinks,

“Who is she to be so bold?”

It’s fitting that he hates her, because he doesn’t deserve to love her.

To every lovely lady out there who has ever been left for another - stop blaming the one you were left for, and start blaming the one who left you. Stop looking at every other female as a competitor. Ladies, we hate each other. Fighting, snide comments, rumors… we’re vicious, powerful individuals, and we want blood.

Look at the power you have a woman. Look at all of the women who fought to get that power. Look at all of the women who are powerless. What if we, women of great strength and power, stopped using our power to fight each other, and started using that power to fight for women without power? Stop fighting the little blonde girl who fucked your piece of shit boyfriend who was cheating on you and start fighting the piece of shit men who are enslaving, raping, and killing females of all ages, races, and ethnicities worldwide.

Take ownership of your beauty by accentuating your assets rather than disguising your defects. If you focus on what makes you beautiful, so will others. You are uniquely you, and that is the most beautiful thing about you.